Since demisexuals require an emotional connection, there’s a common misconception that these individuals won’t have sex until they’re “in love.” However, Queen says this isn’t always the case. “Many demisexuals can and do have sex without this connection—but lots of people wind up having sex without much attraction, because we, demisexuals included, have sex for so many different reasons.” 

When it comes to sexual pleasure and demisexuality, the overall approach will vary from person to person. But the more time you spend connecting with yourself and discovering your feelings around sex, the better you’ll be able to please yourself and openly communicate your needs to your partner(s). This will also help you to articulate what you don’t want when it comes to sexual pleasure.

“You absolutely should not feel obligated or pressured to engage in a sexual experience that you are not comfortable with,” White says. “Remember to do what you feel works best for you. With that being said, don’t be afraid to try new things in the bedroom with yourself or a partner, if you’re up for it. Make sure to set boundaries with your partner and also yourself.”

She also points out that masturbation could play a bigger role in the life of a demisexual individual, since the deep connections they require with their partners may not always come quickly. She suggests taking it at your own pace.



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